The Inner Slut

It's been more than a year since I started this blog. And what a year it's been! I can't believe that it's drawing to a close. I can't believe the friends I've made through my ramblings. I can't believe the ripples, small as they may seem, that this blog has caused through this wonderland called the net. Amazing.

Lessons affirmed

Define yourself Or your blog. Your universe is what you make of it. It's only as exciting, or grand, or limited, as you make it. The only walls that exist are those in your head.

Be true Your definition of self is your vision thereof. Grand visions pull you toward greatness. However, it's not self-aggrandizement which is delusional. Needless to say, greatness in self is totally grounded in reality. It's pushing the envelop, breaking your limits; it's beyond living on the edge. It's bursting out of your shell and living your life the way you want to live it.

Be strong Assert yourself according to your vision of yourself. If you're a slut, the world will just have to live with it. Living according to your rules doesn't mean wanton abandonment of all rules; it means living with yourself and in consideration of others, creating a precarious balancing act of self and society. It's the perspective that changes, from society's view to one that is decidedly individual. It's not that the first line of defense is not that there's something wrong with you; life, unlike driving, should be aggressive, not defensive. You should be a force that this world should reckon with, not the other way around. Assess, not judge, yourself and those who encounter you according to the rules by which you live.

Be proud Who made the rules, anyway? When people who don't share your views score you for your gall to be yourself instead of society's image of and for you, remember, it's a non-issue; you needn't explain yourself, as if seeking affirmation. Choose your battles; not every battle wins the war.

Whatever happened to....

Mara & her Frenchie Frenchie left early this year for parts unknown (to me) and Mara was, as expected, heartbroken. For a while. She's back in the game again, though, going out with young men who are tall, lean and horny.

Alex/Felix I have no idea. He's probably still doing groups and putting women down in his own sick way.

Nelson He's still around. We're good friends. No more playing the game for him as he's now more concerned with making a living.

BDSM Dropped it. Now, I'm a switch. Now, I go for pleasuring a guy's ass till he begs me to stop; riding a hard cock like my life depended on it; squirting cum before an amazed guy trying desperately not to explode. And now that I've mastered the carnal skills, I have more time and energy to channel in exploring the meta-carnal, that elusive spiritual moment of total communion, body and soul, heart and mind. Well, maybe the involvement of the heart is a lot more romantic than real but, there you go.

Francis He's still around. Still horny. And, like Nelson, now a good friend and more concerned with making a living. Like Nelson, he calls once in a while.

Groups; Art & Anna Art still tries to set up another session. I have misgivings, much as I like Anna; I like her more than I like being with her. I've given up groups, that's why. It doesn't appeal to me anymore.

Chris That Euro guy with the sexy, sexy legs! And good looking, too. Never heard from him again. Too bad.

Jake This one tried to set a meeting last week. I was, however, too busy with other things and wasn't in the mood. Also, I don't think I'd want to see him again. He's too young and too bland. Not quite the intelligent sex.

Terry After Marge broke up with this guy, I crossed him off my list as well. Not connecting, anyway. There's intelligence there, and skill -- so are a lot of walls, it's become insulting.

Bill, the X-G-Man He was supposed to have gotten in touch with me a month ago when he was in town but he never did. Like I said then, he probably didn't have enough time. However, I don't think I'll see him again. The last time I saw him, he looked so tired -- and old. Not much life there anymore. He looked like he was just living out of habit.

Jim & Rose Nelson's still seeing Rose, most probably. I'm not seeing them again as I've dropped the group thing.

Dale's BMW R1200GS He decided against getting one as he knew he wasn't ever going to have time to enjoy it, anyway. His new passion is digital photography.

New job That new job I got in June, writing decisions for an appellate court judge, I dropped. The staff were just too malicious. Especially the chief of staff who decided on a whim to hate me from day one.

Stew the Pilot Of the huge favorite, What A Release. Yeah, I know what you like to read and re-read over and over and over again...Anyway, I haven't heard from him again. Manila isn't in his regular flight plan so it's going to take another emergency lay-over in this city for The Inner Slut to get her lay from this guy.

Steve the Numbers Guy Haven't heard from him. He's been in touch with Marge more, though, but this girl started telling him about how she wanted something a bit more permanent and that, of course, scared the guy away. Typical.

State of The Inner Slut

At this point, this year-end, Dale and I getting closer the longer we see and talk to each other; Carl and I are waiting to get our life together in order. I'm hoping that Carl gets time to visit early next year but I'm not optimistic. His house in the city is up for sale; so is his business; and construction of the country house needs to get started.

Tom, on the other hand, has gone the way of Nelson. We're good friends, helping each other out, giving each other moral support and just being there to talk to.

Marge is still pissed with Tom, shifty-eyed, lying, immature Tom. Just the other day, I was on the phone with her. She'd been updated by Kaye, Tom's new friend. It appears that, during Tom's last visit, he had a threesome with Kaye and another new friend. Then, in the same week, he had a foursome with the same women and one of the women's boyfriend. Pretty busy week for Tom, what with trying to get new business, that trip to Davao, and me. So much for the unfairly jilted lover theory. For my part, I'm glad that Tom's sexual education is advancing. Who knows? This just might help him mature a bit more.

Cliff has fast become a good friend, a great sexual partner, and a professional mentor. He's coming back in February next year and wants to spend more time with me while he's in town. I'm looking forward to it.

More FAQ's

Do you write for a tabloid?
No, I'm not Xerex Xaviera online.

Are you a man?
Last time I looked, I was all woman. Can't have tits any more real than these...

What's your bra size?
38B. I wear brassieres with underwire for that full effect. Lots of cleavage. Works everytime.

Would you consider yourself pretty?
No, I consider myself lovely. I've been told often enough that my loveliness isn't the chocolate box type of beauty but something that grows on the beholder. I come across as very simple yet elegant. To give you an idea: Tom loves my "creamy, white skin;" Cliff loves my "almond-shaped brown eyes;" Dale loves my "soft, full lips on a small rosebud of a mouth."

Do you join any chatrooms online?
No, I haven't time and I'm not that social.

Why don't you answer emails from your readers? Are you a snob?
I do answer emails from readers. Friendly note, though: my writing is not so far removed from my sexual exploits; it has to be intelligent. In that context, I suppose you can call me a snob. I don't suffer fools lightly. Comments left on my blog, however, are a different thing. I put up that comment tool so I should be prepared to allow readers freedom of expression. How that freedom is exercised is, however, up to the person commenting. Anonymity is never an excuse for disregarding common courtesy and decency. Unfortunately, most of us still have to mature in our use of the world wide web.

Can we chat online?
Sorry, but I feel very uncomfortable with the idea. Although I do exchange emails with a few readers, I don't do this on a regular basis. I would rather keep the level of mystique where it is now.

Happy Holidays, friends!