Saturday, October 18, 2003
New horizons
I was supposed to meet with Art and Anna last Saturday, for that threesome at last. It didn't push through. Art said it was because Anna still had her period. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. And then she left for Singapore for the week. She's supposed to come home tomorrow, Sunday. So no go. I was on the phone with Art a couple of times this week. Earlier, he floated the idea that he wanted to go see this movie. Then yesterday, he asked me if I wanted to see the movie with him, only to change his mind later on in the day. I guess he's just avoiding getting into anything with me on his own, without Ana and without her knowing it. I can respect that.
My Biker Boy, Dale, sent me SMS asking to see me again. I couldn't schedule him this
weekend as my sked's already full. Neither could I see him next week, as I'm having my period sometime Wednesday. And I'm seeing this American guy on Monday -- with Nelson. Finally, I think I'm gonna have a threesome with two guys. I'm actually apprehensive. I don't exactly know what's gonna happen. But at least, Nelson's gonna be there.
Today, I'm seeing this American guy from Hong Kong. He used to be with the US military, and he's into serious bondage. He says he'll try to get in touch with his friend here in Manila to join us. If she does, then it's gonna be a threesome with two women. Geno, the HK-based Yank, says she's bi and is very interested in playing with me. He probably sent her my foto. I just hope that she's clean and not bad-looking and foul-smelling.
Soulmate
I have been exchanging emails with Mau, a Colombian guy living in Davao, working for a trading firm exporting fresh fruits from Mindanao. He's 47, and not bad-looking, although a bit on the lean side. However, he claims to be well-endowed. We've talked on the phone twice already and I like his voice, very deep and manly. He sounds like Alex/Felix.
Makes me wonder if I'm looking for substitutes: Louis for Renaud; Mau for Alex/Felix. I hope not. I can't get rid of this competitive nature, and I feel that I'm secretly competing with Mara. I feel though that I can easily outpace Mara in terms of alternative sexual activities. She just does BDSM; she's not into couples or groups, although she did say once that she had tried it with a woman using dildos. So am I doing this because of Mara? Nah. I'm just plain horny.
Anyway. The exchange of emails between Mau and me has been very inspiring. This is an intelligent and sensitive man, very poetic and philosophical in his dealings with people and the world. He's actually a breath of fresh air in this jaded world, my almost crumbling universe, held together only by old hopes and struggling dreams.
Comments
I received a comment to an earlier post and I'm feeling ambiguous on writing about it. I was pretending to be writing in a private journal when I very well knew that this is a public forum. The fact that I put in a tool for interaction means that I'm open to responses from the public. In fact, I make it a point not to use cultural indices (at least, I make a conscious effort not to) in view of the diversity of the readership. So, thank you to Me, 23, female who gave in her comment.
Yes, it is a personal and sexual awakening for me. It's actually a conscious opening up of self to all the hurts and pain that the world has to offer, along with all its beauty and inspiration. I've lived in this world for forty years. It's about time I truly experienced it in all its glorious sadness.
My Biker Boy, Dale, sent me SMS asking to see me again. I couldn't schedule him this
weekend as my sked's already full. Neither could I see him next week, as I'm having my period sometime Wednesday. And I'm seeing this American guy on Monday -- with Nelson. Finally, I think I'm gonna have a threesome with two guys. I'm actually apprehensive. I don't exactly know what's gonna happen. But at least, Nelson's gonna be there.
Today, I'm seeing this American guy from Hong Kong. He used to be with the US military, and he's into serious bondage. He says he'll try to get in touch with his friend here in Manila to join us. If she does, then it's gonna be a threesome with two women. Geno, the HK-based Yank, says she's bi and is very interested in playing with me. He probably sent her my foto. I just hope that she's clean and not bad-looking and foul-smelling.
Soulmate
I have been exchanging emails with Mau, a Colombian guy living in Davao, working for a trading firm exporting fresh fruits from Mindanao. He's 47, and not bad-looking, although a bit on the lean side. However, he claims to be well-endowed. We've talked on the phone twice already and I like his voice, very deep and manly. He sounds like Alex/Felix.
Makes me wonder if I'm looking for substitutes: Louis for Renaud; Mau for Alex/Felix. I hope not. I can't get rid of this competitive nature, and I feel that I'm secretly competing with Mara. I feel though that I can easily outpace Mara in terms of alternative sexual activities. She just does BDSM; she's not into couples or groups, although she did say once that she had tried it with a woman using dildos. So am I doing this because of Mara? Nah. I'm just plain horny.
Anyway. The exchange of emails between Mau and me has been very inspiring. This is an intelligent and sensitive man, very poetic and philosophical in his dealings with people and the world. He's actually a breath of fresh air in this jaded world, my almost crumbling universe, held together only by old hopes and struggling dreams.
Comments
I received a comment to an earlier post and I'm feeling ambiguous on writing about it. I was pretending to be writing in a private journal when I very well knew that this is a public forum. The fact that I put in a tool for interaction means that I'm open to responses from the public. In fact, I make it a point not to use cultural indices (at least, I make a conscious effort not to) in view of the diversity of the readership. So, thank you to Me, 23, female who gave in her comment.
Yes, it is a personal and sexual awakening for me. It's actually a conscious opening up of self to all the hurts and pain that the world has to offer, along with all its beauty and inspiration. I've lived in this world for forty years. It's about time I truly experienced it in all its glorious sadness.
