Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Geisha school
Like I mentioned earlier, I was with Peter last week. I had sent something funny thru email to a list of men friends, some of who were dickheads. Peter's name and email address was in that list. So was Alex's and Renaud's. Now this guy, Renaud, replied to my email, cc everyone else on that list. I didn't notice this, so when Peter mentioned it, I was aghast. I was also confused. Hence, the following email to Peter yesterday:
i just wanted to ask something: remember that email you received which was a reply meant for me but with cc to everyone else? your reaction made me wonder if you thought of single women like me who meet men purely for sex as socially taboo? this is just me wondering. i don't take anything against you. i was not and am not offended by your reaction. it just got me thinking...
we started off with you being aware that i have a profile up on aff. so the presumption is that i meet men other than you for sex. you did suggest that in the future i avoid sending cc's of my emails to a list of male-sounding addressees as the impression seems to be that it's a list of lovers. so does this mean that you think that having a list like that (i.e., of lovers) is socially unacceptable? and is the length of the list directly related to the degree of unacceptableness? in other words, the longer the list, the sluttier the woman?
again, this is just me asking. i got a bit confused as to how you looked at the whole thing.
it was perhaps simply embarrassing for you to see a list of men with your name on it? i suppose you found it in bad taste. the question is, why? was it in bad taste? only if we were to accept the supposition that it was a list of lovers. but like i said, it wasn't. it was simply the second half a mailing list divided into men on one side and women on the other. why i based the division on gender, i don't remember anymore, when most of the addressees on the list are lawyers. hence, the confusion on my part.
quite a mouthful...anyway, i can't help but think of the gender issue popularly known as the double standard...
The following was Peter's reply:
My Dear ____,
You could fuck the entire universe that I couldn't care less. It is your life and I wish you all the fun in the world.
The point is I am married. So I am the one not supposed to fuck around. Somebody on this list might know me and assume (correctly) that we are lovers. The next thing we know is that the news spreads around. That is something I want to avoid. Our relationship is confidential and should stay that way. I hope you agree with me.
Cheers.
Peter
Can anything be more hilarious? I am such a big idiot. Thus, the following apology:
think three impossible things before breakast, the white queen suggested to alice...
once again, i jump before i leap. and once again, i think it's all about me. i keep forgetting that the paradigm has shifted and that the perspective has changed. you will have to forgive me. lots of things to learn and unlearn...
My justifications:
1. I'm single and not used to looking over my shoulder.
2. It's not an affair; it's just an arrangement.
3. I'm not appropriating the dickhead as my own special someone.
I am such an idiot. The biggest there is. I should go to geisha school. The problem is, there's none that I could find on the net.
i just wanted to ask something: remember that email you received which was a reply meant for me but with cc to everyone else? your reaction made me wonder if you thought of single women like me who meet men purely for sex as socially taboo? this is just me wondering. i don't take anything against you. i was not and am not offended by your reaction. it just got me thinking...
we started off with you being aware that i have a profile up on aff. so the presumption is that i meet men other than you for sex. you did suggest that in the future i avoid sending cc's of my emails to a list of male-sounding addressees as the impression seems to be that it's a list of lovers. so does this mean that you think that having a list like that (i.e., of lovers) is socially unacceptable? and is the length of the list directly related to the degree of unacceptableness? in other words, the longer the list, the sluttier the woman?
again, this is just me asking. i got a bit confused as to how you looked at the whole thing.
it was perhaps simply embarrassing for you to see a list of men with your name on it? i suppose you found it in bad taste. the question is, why? was it in bad taste? only if we were to accept the supposition that it was a list of lovers. but like i said, it wasn't. it was simply the second half a mailing list divided into men on one side and women on the other. why i based the division on gender, i don't remember anymore, when most of the addressees on the list are lawyers. hence, the confusion on my part.
quite a mouthful...anyway, i can't help but think of the gender issue popularly known as the double standard...
The following was Peter's reply:
My Dear ____,
You could fuck the entire universe that I couldn't care less. It is your life and I wish you all the fun in the world.
The point is I am married. So I am the one not supposed to fuck around. Somebody on this list might know me and assume (correctly) that we are lovers. The next thing we know is that the news spreads around. That is something I want to avoid. Our relationship is confidential and should stay that way. I hope you agree with me.
Cheers.
Peter
Can anything be more hilarious? I am such a big idiot. Thus, the following apology:
think three impossible things before breakast, the white queen suggested to alice...
once again, i jump before i leap. and once again, i think it's all about me. i keep forgetting that the paradigm has shifted and that the perspective has changed. you will have to forgive me. lots of things to learn and unlearn...
My justifications:
1. I'm single and not used to looking over my shoulder.
2. It's not an affair; it's just an arrangement.
3. I'm not appropriating the dickhead as my own special someone.
I am such an idiot. The biggest there is. I should go to geisha school. The problem is, there's none that I could find on the net.
